It’s that time of year again. Many churches, communities, and neighborhoods are starting fall sessions of women’s Bible study. Last Thursday’s post and this one give practical help for leading small group discussion. Feel free to share with your church, Bible study leaders, and women’s ministry leaders!
We’ve all been in one…a group discussion gone “off track.” Challenging personality types can easily derail a productive discussion. Here are four personality types and some practical tips which will help everyone enjoy the conversation.
- Discussion Hog
The Hog – who has something to say about almost everything – dominates the discussion! If leaders don’t harness the Hog, others in the group will talk less and the hog will talk more!
- Use body language: Don’t make eye contact and turn toward others.
- Give minimal response to their comments.
- Give a general invitation to the group after they have spoken such as, “Let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken today.”
- Talk to them privately when all else fails. Enlist their “help” in encouraging the quieter members of the group to participate.
- Introvert
The Introvert is quiet and rarely, if ever, participates in the discussion. Introverts may be naturally shy, lack confidence in their answers, or feel over-powered by stronger personalities in the group. The leader’s job is to draw them out. We need to encourage them, but we may also need to modify the group atmosphere. For example, you may have to harness a Hog!
- Use body language: Make eye contact and turn towards them.
- Don’t call on them specifically, unless they tried to speak and the hog talked over them.
- Make use of silence. Sometimes these “introverts” will speak up given enough opportunity.
- Encourage them to participate again by affirming them when they do comment on in private conversation.
- Emotionally Needy
The Emotional Needy sees no end to the painful situations of life. From divorce and illness to wayward teens and the loss of a loved one, our group members are sometimes emotionally consumed by life’s trials. These types of needs are usually better dealt with in a different kind of setting. However, occasionally raw emotions need immediate attention.
- Follow the Holy Spirit in each case.
- Offer to meet with them outside of class.
- Stop and lead the group in prayer for the individual, if you feel led.
- Offer to help them find the right venue for their need, if it’s an ongoing situation.
- Challenger
The Challenger questions the leader on one or more statements in front of the group. Sometimes they’re right and sometimes they’re wrong. Either way it’s important that biblical truth come to light and that the “challenge” doesn’t become an uncomfortable confrontation.
- Ask them what Scripture passages teach their viewpoint.
- Restate the Biblical evidence for your teaching.
- Be humble, but firm on the truth: “Based on my study of this passage….. But I’m certainly not perfect. Let’s both do some more study on this…..”
- Ask God to show you where you might be wrong!
Share your advice for dealing with one of these personality types! Or maybe you’ve had experience with another challenging personality.
Excellent insight and guidance. I was looking for material to give to my table leaders for our upcoming Fall bible study (and didn’t want to have to re-invent the wheel). Thank you, I will print this out (and 5 Challenges of Small Group Discussion). I so appreciate your ministry.
Hi Diana, I am so glad you think they will be useful to your leaders!!
I had a member of my class once that is what I call “unteachable.” He had a bumper sticker slogan for every discussion subject…stuff like “Christians are too blessed to be depressed” (we had class members that suffered with clinical depression and also manic depression (or bipolar disorder) that would just clam up when he brought up (repeatedly) his belief that ‘Christians who say they have depression must have sin in their lives; repent and it will go away.’ He loved to disagree with anything that didn’t jive with his ‘once saved, always saved’ endoctrination. This particular bumper sticker statement brings confusion to new Christians or anyone who wasn’t raised in Sunday School in a “hardshell Baptist church”. I’ve used some of the techniques you listed in this article. Sentences that begin with “Well, I’ve always heard…”, “I’ve always been told…” and my personal favorite “My grandma taught me…” were particularly difficult to get around. My class began sighing deeply, crossing their arms, rolling their eyes, while staring at the wall or out the window when he would take the floor. It overshadowed the good things he had to say, things that were scriptural and actually pertained to the lesson. I finally got him off privately and asked him to be our “designated prayer list keeper” and with an official “job” to do, he slacked off hogging the floor. He had health problems that eventually stopped his church attendance and last year, he passed away. I believe he was sincere with what he thought and I do believe he was a Christian. However, he was definitely a teacher’s challenge for quite a long time. Unfortunately he was “unteachable” and he missed out on learning from what others in the class would contribute to the discussion. I’m a big talker so I have to consciously make myself allow others to answer questions that I could just simply tell everyone myself in the lecture part of class, but that’s not how good classes work! I don’t “read” to my class out of a quarterly, because it puts people to sleep. I’ve been in classes that it was the practice to read aloud the ENTIRE lesson, without discussion. You might as well be reading a car insurance policy to me after I’ve taken a sleeping pill!! People want to talk! Even the quiet or shy ones, if given the right opportunity! I love to hear what others think! That’s how we learn about each other and develop a close-knit bond with each other! I would encourage other class leaders to just pray about each situation and let the Holy Spirit lead. My “problem” took care of itself. This is not always the case though. Thank you for voicing these tips. I wish I’d had them way back then! Blessings from Deep East Texas!
Great examples! Thanks for sharing!